Express Emotion

It's been a while since I've posted but life got crazy. We lived with family friends for a little more than a month, and then their kids came home from college and they needed the sapce again. So even though my house is not done and we aren't supposed to be living here, we are. We have a toilet, and a laundry tub for a sink. No oven either, so my mom has gotten quite handy with the BBQ. Still no job, but I've applied to a lot, and I have a pretty good connection through an old childhood friend, so it could be promising. I had my wisdom teeth removed at the beginning of the week and I'm dying of boredom, I miss human interaction. My mom got married a month ago, and went on honeymoon in Ireland, she and my step dad had an amazing time. My boyfriend had the house alone for those two weeks and it was a very good test for us. It showed us how we would work once we have our own place, and it brought us a lot closer. Just waiting on a job and we will be able to afford

Life has been insane lately. The house we were staying out, was insanly loud and the people were so disrespectful. So we moved in with some family friends and it's much better. It's still loud but it feels a lot more like home here. School has been crazy, all my final projects are all due within a couple days of eachother, and its very difficult to time manage. But things are also looking up for me. I have a gym membership and I have plans to go at least 3 times a week, hopefully more. My step-sister is going to be my new gym buddy too. Tyler and I have been really good, he's getting more time off and work and it makes things easier now that I live in London again.

I posted on my social media, asking my friends if they knew of any job opportunities that would suit me, and a friend that worked at my highschool coop placement messaged me and said his workplace was hiring. I brought him my resume today and I'm hoping to get a call back soon. It's a privately owned pet store, which gives me more opportunity to expand my knowledge. I'm not going to get my hopes up like I did with Petsmart, but my friend put in a really good word for me, and hopefully that is the little boost I needed to get me in.  Very hopeful for the future.

So I've been waiting all week for a call back from Petsmart, but I hadn't got one yet. I called them a couple minutes ago and the girl said that everyone that they wanted, has already come for a second interview. That means I did not get the job.  It sucks a lot, I need an income and to be able to provide for myself, even just a little bit.  I guess I don't have to worry about finding someone to take over my volunteer work for me :( And there goes the apartment my boyfriend and I wanted.

After a strange and rocky few weeks, things are finally changing for the good. I've applied to many many jobs over the past few weeks and I got a call back last night to a job I applied to on Wednesday. I have an interview with Petsmart on Monday and I couldn't be more excited, it is a perfect fit for me. After talking to the girl on the phone, it sounds promising :) This weekend I plan on relaxing, doing a lot of studying and finishing up the last of my assignments. It's going to be a good weekend and hopefully next week will be even better. Potentially having a job means I'm that much closer to having an apartment with my boyfriend. Very exciting.

Well, it's midterm week and I can't seem to catch a break in between studying and final touches on my papers. However, it's been keeping my brain occupied and I've been sleeping very well because of it. I've applied to dozens of jobs over the last few weeks and I'm really hoping that I will hear back from one of them so I can start saving up for an apartment or a trip to BC, or both if I'm lucky. My boyfriend and I have been really looking for a place that fits all of our needs, but location is such a hard thing to find. I need it close to college and whatever job I get, and he needs it close to his work because he walks. Where he is right now would be the perfect place for us but he is only renting a bedroom. I know we will figure it out though. School helps to cover up a lot of my mental health issues but with 'March' break (actually in February for college) coming up in just over a week, I'm getting worried. That's a whole week to myself,

I feel the need to change myself. Change who I am and how I look. I don't want to look like someone that has hurt and pain hidden below the surface. I want to feel proud and confident of how I look and I will do it. It won't be easy, but I have enough support in my life so there is nothing stopping me. I need to see the doctor, and get my nightmares under control.  Also, I need to call my former therapist and see if I can get back on her service, I need an outsider to vent to; someone completely out of the situation.